Dæmian Garett, The Onion

Glowing Rectangles

‘Report: 90% Of Waking Hours Spent Staring At Glowing Rectangles’

PALO ALTO, CA—A new report published this week by researchers at Stanford University suggests that Americans spend the vast majority of each day staring at, interacting with, and deriving satisfaction from glowing rectangles. . . .


screen shot - Screen shot of The Onion's report on 'Glowing Rectangles' Dæmian Garett

Commentary on The Onion’s report:

I place more faith in satire than the sanctioned news. This mock report is an exemplar of what good media theory aims to do: defamiliarize common technological experiences, make one laugh (even a quiet sardonic murmur), bring out the pathos of the world, and above all be truthful. The Onion’s account of screen addictions deploys an unrelenting irony that borders on the absurd. I am reading and studying this article presently, to learn more about the phenomenology of social networking. I’ll keep you posted on my research.