Luca van der Woodsen

Luca Van der Woodsen, is the son of the daughter of his grandfather. He commenced his career as an artist initially painting graffiti on the interior walls of his mother’s uterus, but unfortunately they were never brought to the critics attention as the circumstances are surreal and are part of the imagery of the person writing this paragraph, and as Van Der Woodsen´s younger sister claims that throughout her tenancy in the Mother’s uterus she has not seen the presence of any so called graffiti, although she is blind and therefore unaccountable. Having said so and wasted precious writing space for actually giving useful information about Van der Woodsen’s career, it is relevant to focus, with a microscope, on a sample of Van der Woodsen’s red liquid which was found in his veins. What is shocking to discover is that once the liquid was matched with sample’s of Rembrandt’s and Banksy’s analogue liquid also found in their veins, the competent experts of the subject arrived at a consensus of the resulting data: All of the three samples revealed the evidence that all three liquids were the same element, something that the experts refer to as Blood. As the mathematical calculation shows, the conclusion states that by this match all three individuals are Artists. Although Banksy is kind of lame and Rembrandt is boring and also sort of lame, and I am just a spolied kid shitting over everybody, Van Der Woodsen is pretty damn cool ya’ll. And I say so because he is a friend even though he doesn’t know that when he sleeps at night I sneak in his pocket and steal money, and if he is extremely drunk I even rape his anus and what not, he still is a friend and therefore this whole paragraph is useless because there is no objective element and anyhow I gave no real info about anything whatsoever and just got a kick out of it to satisfy me me me me me me and my writing skillz.

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  • Luca van der Woodsen